The State of our Union is dangerously sexy

So I started watching part of the President's speech the other day with Cappy and (Y/J/H?)elena. It was s'posed to be a big ol' drinkin' party but nobody showed up, Yelena wasn't drinking, I had the inluenza majora and no cups with which to sanitarily share Cappy's booze, and then a fire alarm went off. We were in the Student Union, so you can make a joke there if you like, about the state of the union. Get it?

Anyway, the "party" turned out to be kinda lame and we all stopped watching. Then I kicked coffee on them because I am a spaz. But the point is I missed the part where the president raised the unholy spectre of human-animal hybrids. I didn't realize we had waltzed so close to that precipice. It's a good thing he launched that program to get to Mars, I would hate if the human-animal hybrids got their filthy paws on the Red Planet first.

He also want to cut our addiction to fossil fuels, he says. That's a good project to tackle, now that he has rid Africa of AIDS and baseball of steroids. What a president! The state of my heartbeat is excited with pride!